Children · Expat Moms and Kids · Finding your path · Freedom · Homeschooling · Homeschooling whilst Unschooling · Islamic Homeschooling · Islamic parenting · Islamic society · Islamic values · Living by the Quran · Muscat Moms and Kids · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Quran · Reaching for Jannah · Social pressure · Way of LIfe

The most practical parenting plan:3 stages of respectful parenting 

The most practical parenting plan:3 stages of respectful parenting . . "A child is a student when playing with sticks. A child is a student when learning to write between lines. A child is a student every single minute because he/she is already living his/her life; we must refrain from entertaining the thought that we need to train children to begin living their lives as adults" . . Click the link on the bio for the blog post on the The most practical parenting plan:3 stages of respectful parenting . What methods do you lean towards? Do share your thoughts💟 . . https://nuzham.wordpress.com/2017/10/16/the-most-practical-parenting-plan3-stages-of-respectful-parenting/?preview=true #homeschoolingmom #homeschool #muscathomeschoolers #muscatbloggers #muscatblog #muscatblogging #omanmums #omanblog #muscatblogging #muslimama #muscat #unschooling #homeschooling #joyfulmamas #motherhoodrocks #letthembelittle #educationsystems #sunnah #raising #lovelearning #themomtribefollowloop #mamatomama #mamaloop9 #mamacanteach #learningathome #muslimama #islamicparenting #instamom #muslimhomeschool #motherhoodthroughinstagram #cheekygigglesonapumpkintummy

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Today I came across a post on a popular mommy page where a mother was asking for book recommendations to teach her 5 month old baby. Teach. Not read to or show but teach.

The other day, another mom in the same group had posted a message out of panic. Due to being pregnant with her second child, this mother had been unable to teach her child to write and do sums and now she is worried that the child would be a failure and shunned. How old was the child in question? Two.

Two years old. 24 months.

We have fallen prey to the demands of this world. We created those demands and now, are in danger of being crushed by them.

When something as natural as learning starts to stress out the student or the teacher,then there is something unnatural in the mix. Take a break and evaluate your goals and priorities. 

“A child is a student when playing with sticks. 

A child is a student when learning to write between lines. 

A child is a student every single minute because he/she is already living his/her life; we must refrain from entertaining the thought that we need to train children to begin living their lives as adults

Here is a beautifully explained piece on parenting that I try to remember to live by:

“On the subject of raising children, Ali ibn Abi Taalib (RA) said:

“Play with them for the first 7 years of their life, then teach them for the next 7 years; and then finally advise them for the next 7 years afterwards .”
*First 7 Years
In the first 7 years, your goal is to build a strong connection with your child. This is the foundation, the base from which your relationship with them grows. If this rock is solid, the remaining years will be much easier. If this foundation forms poorly, the next years will be more challenging.
If you have young children, this (first 7 years) is the time to roll up your sleeves and invest, heavily, in yours and their future. In fact, you will be rewarded for all the righteous progeny that survives you, not just children, until the Day of Judgement.
*Next 7 Years
Once children reach 7, they are ready to learn. This is the time they are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them, and do in front of them. If you built that solid foundation in ages 0-7, they are now more than willing and happy to learn from you.
This is the time to teach them everything — aqeedah, halaal and haraam, fiqh, all the things they need to know to survive throughout their life. Qur’an and seerah are also very important; as one prominent tabi’een said, “we learned seerah (frequently and in details) from our parents the way we learned Qur’an.”
Teach them sports too, Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Teach your children Swimming, Archery and Horseback riding.” They gain many benefits from it, including physical fitness, learning teamwork, and sportsmanship.

*The Final 7 Years
Once your children hit 14, they are probably already mukallaf (full adults Islamically, and accountable for their actions) — this happens at puberty, or at age 15 at the latest.
At this age, you are mostly out of the picture. Children achieve independence; their personalities manifest; they look more to their peers than their parents and families. During these critical years, befriend them, advise them, and do what you can; understand that they are now full adults, and the choices are theirs to make, right or wrong.
If you worked hard during the last two periods of 7 years, you will already be that trusted confidant, that advisor, that go-to person when they need help or advice. Be part of their lives, and advise them as best you can.

May the almighty aid us in raising our kids!

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Baking tips · Expat Moms and Kids · Homemade · Homeschooling · Islamic Homeschooling · Kitchen tips · Muscat Moms and Kids · Muslim Mama · Natural alternatives · Recipes · Vegan

THE fudgy vegan brownie

I love potlucks!
Even before discovering my love for food(was quite late, surprisingly), I have always enjoyed a party where everyone brings in a dish to share. For that is what food means to me. Food is about family, friends and memories and what better way to enjoy all of that than by sharing different dishes together? 

It is quite easy to pick a dish when you know the crowd and are sure of preferences. 

It is less easy when you do not know the guests very well; different tastes,dietary needs and allergy issues are all factors.

When we were invited for a not-back-to-school beach bbq by our local homeschooling community, I went through my recipe book(yes, I write down my favourite recipes!) but could not settle on anything. A good friend would be attending with her family and I wanted to make sure that my dish was vegan to share it with them as well.  

When someone else picked salad, I decided to hunt for a brownie recipe because who does not love a good brownie?

I stumbled upon a wonderful blog full of healthy desserts; just reading some of them made me declare my intentions to eat healthy if healthy always looked like that!

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/ Visit her blog for more amazing recipes.

I adapted her vegan brownie recipe to fit whatever I had in my pantry and it turned out really well; did not miss the eggs and butter! 

I used hazelnut milk because it is a long established fact that hazelnut and chocolate has the best marriage, and opted for coconut oil because I hopped on to the coconut oil wagon quite a while ago and do not plan on getting off anytime soon. 

You may choose suitable substitutes. Maybe use wholemeal flour and make it a bit more healthy?

The recipe did not call for black beans or any ingredient that would require a run to the store- definitely my kind of recipe.

Give it a go and let me know if you liked it!

Just a heads up: although it is super fudgy, not too sweet, and just right with a cold glass of milk, it does stick to the roof of the mouth a bit. Nothing a good swig of milk can’t clean. 

Happy baking!

THE fudgy vegan brownie

  • Servings: 20 generous squares
  • Print

Ingredients

1 cup and 2 tbsp of hazelnut milk

1/2 cup and 3tbsp of virgin coconut oil

1 tbsp vanilla extract

1 cup all purpose flour,sifted

1 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 tsp (heaped) salt

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup raw sugar 

2 tbsp corn flour


  • Whisk the milk, oil and vanilla in a bowl and set aside. 
  • Preheat oven to 165°C and prepare the baking pan.
  • In a large bowl, thoroughly combine all remaining ingredients. The original recipe emphasised on the “thoroughly”,and thoroughly is what I did.
  • Pour the whisked wet ingredients into the dry bowl and stir to combine. Do not be too vigorous or you’ll activate the gluten in the flour.
  • Transfer to baking pan, smooth down and bake for 18-20 minutes.
  • The brownie would look a little underdone but the recipe promised that it will set in the refrigerator.
  • Allow to cool a little, cut into squares and pop into the fridge to cool and set well.
  • You can store this there for 4 days but you would be lucky if you have any remaining!

Nom nom nom

Children · Islamic parenting · Islamic society · Islamic values · Modelling kindness · mommy vlogs · Muscat Moms and Kids · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Reaching for Jannah · Way of LIfe

Watch “Fun way to help children watch their words” on YouTube

Children say the darndest thing but that does not necessarily mean they are nice things. I do not force much upon my children but I am very particular about the way they speak to each other and to other people. Whilst I model the behaviour as much as possible, sometimes, a fun activity is just what they need to reinforce the message.

 You need a tube of toothpaste for each child. I am not comfortable wasting perfectly good products if they could be used in the proper way and so, used two tubes of toothpastes that we had decided not to use a while ago when we made the switch to herbal toothpaste.

Give them a bucket and let them squeeze away. Make sure to highlight how easy it is to get everything out. Then ask them to put it back into the tube using any tool or their fingers. Wait till they respond and then explain how the toothpaste represents words and how we need to watch what comes out of our mouths because you cannot take it back.

We hope you enjoy our conversation below and share your story with us too! Do you know of a fun way to teach such lessons? Please feel free to share them below.

Expat Moms and Kids · Islamic parenting · Kids tips · Kids videos · mommy vlogs · Muscat Moms and Kids · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Tips and Tricks

Watch “A neat trick to put your shoes on!” on YouTube

The other day NBoy asked me if his shoes were on the right feet and I absentmindedly shook my head, to which he indignantly said something about butterflies. Upon asking he told me how he identifies the right foot. He is a smart cookie but I was gobsmacked by the sheer brilliance of this simple tip! The big sis, IzGirl, had apparently taught him this. When I asked her about it, she casually told me about it and said she figured it out one day when her feet felt funny after she mixed the shoes up! SubhanAllah(Glory be to the almighty!), children are far more intuitive than we give them credit for!
Hope you enjoy the video and have fun showing it to your littles too! Do take a moment to leave a message if you wish in the comments or inbox; my littles would love to hear from you!

Easy Dinner · Expat Moms and Kids · Homemade · Homeschooling · Homeschooling whilst Unschooling · Islamic parenting · Kitchen tips · Muscat Mom and Kids · Muscat, Oman · Mushrooms · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Pasta · Quick Cooking · Quick pasta · Unschooling · vegetarian

Mushroom and Spinach wholemeal linguine

After a long day of wrestling with letter sounds and refereeing fights, I almost always hurt my neck trying to look out for Papa Bear to finally get home to tag him, hand over the kids and run off to cook dinner. When that gets delayed, all hope is not lost although I cannot promise the same for my temper.

One such evening, IzGirl and NBoy were still bouncing off the walls and number 3, NBaby, surprises us with an early nap but my migraine decided to make an appearance, I decided to let them help and leave the delayed individual to attack the mess. Surprisingly, my children are very much unlike me in the kitchen. They cleaned up after themselves and actually made my job much easier.

Moreover, what better way to teach them life skills than in our own kitchen, with extra loads of love?

The following recipe is very special to us because it is the first dish we cooked together(without me nagging or micro managing them!). We hope you enjoy cooking it and sharing it with your family too!

Mushroom and Spinach wholemeal linguine

  • Servings: 2 tiny tummies
  • Difficulty: Need the help of a responsible adult
  • Print

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Look what we cooked! We ate it with roasted (okay, burnt!) cashewnuts. And how pretty are our Eid decorations?!

Ingredients

  • 6 or 7 fresh mushrooms, washed
  • Handful of baby spinach
  • Portion of wholemeal linguine (regular spaghetti would do)
  • 2 Tablespoons of garlic butter(regular butter is fine as well)
  • 1/4 cup of cooking cream (you can add or reduce as you wish)
  • Salt and Pepper

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Directions

  1. Chop the mushrooms into whatever size you like.
  2. Pick the good spinach leaves, wash and drain.
  3. Ask an adult to boil the pasta and drain it.
  4. Heat a pan and add butter.
  5. Add the mushrooms and sauté them with a pinch of salt.
  6. Add the cream and stir well. Once it starts boiling, add the pasta and mix it in, and check salt and pepper.
  7. Leave to cook for a minute or two and then add the spinach and switch off the flame. Stir well.
  8. Enjoy with some yummy toasted bread and help wash up after dinner.

 https://www.instagram.com/p/BZIPramhrRElN8Bs6R2YU1G394MKXkFUhZIxew0/

Expat Moms and Kids · Homeschooling · Homeschooling whilst Unschooling · Islamic Homeschooling · Islamic parenting · Kindergarten · Mathematics for kids · Muslim Mama · Numbers · Parenting · Preschool · Teaching Numbers · Unschooling

Learning Numbers: Erase the correct one

This was an improvised game when NBoy wanted a turn at cleaning the whiteboard but was not in the mood to draw. Tired of having to scribble whilst trying to listen to the big sister read words, I wrote numbers from 1-10 on the board and gave him the small eraser and proceeded to call out a number randomly for him to erase.

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Learning Numbers can be fun!

He loved the game and was careful about making sure none of the other numbers got erased too!

This game could work even if the child is not completely familiar with numbers.

Hope you have fun getting your whiteboard cleaned!

Expat Moms and Kids · Freedom · Homeschooling · Homeschooling whilst Unschooling · Islamic Homeschooling · Islamic parenting · Islamic society · Islamic values · Muscat Mom and Kids · Muscat, Oman · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Unschooling · Way of LIfe

To School or Not to School

“What school does she go to?” asks a well-meaning person about my almost 5 year old.

“She doesn’t yet. We are homeschooling at the moment” I reply in weary apprehension, expecting another tirade of shocked expressions and 5 minutes of a lecture on how they know what would be better for my child. You know, because, they have seen her couple of times and have children of their own, they automatically become self-proclaimed experts on my child too…(mini rant over)

To be honest, the above scenario does not happen as often as I claim it to but the after effects of such a confrontation and the willpower it takes for me to not respond in kind, has me agitated for a while, and thus, prone to a lot of dramatics.

Most people are genuinely curious about what homeschooling is all about and their questions are always welcome because they are merely asking without assuming the worst or telling me how “wrong” I am.

What exactly is homeschooling?

It is basically the education of a child at home, primarily by the parents.

Then what in the world is unschooling?

It is a more radical form of homeschooling where conventional school systems and curriculums have no place; the learning is experience based on each child’s preference.

Is it legal?

Yes, depending on the country you live in. Most governments require parents to educate their children but they do not govern what kind of education that would be.

Do you follow a syllabus?

Not at the moment, I pick up on my child’s changing interests and we focus on whatever that maybe.

So, you are unschooling?

No.

Then you are simply being a teacher at home but for one child?

No.

What exactly are you doing?

I am helping my children learn in any way that they want to, without allowing the constraints of a label restrict our learning.

That is what we are doing.

Going against socially expected norms and the “done-thing” is much harder than I thought it would be. The inner turmoil I face at wondering if I am doing right by my children keeps me up most nights. Then I Google. And I panic even more.

It is always scary doing something different, especially when it comes to your children; there is absolutely no way of knowing if you are doing the right thing till it is too late. There have been many days when I have wanted to throw in the towel and do what we are “supposed” to be doing but I always backed out after a frustrated husband finally looked about ready to agree with me.

After many prayers and contemplation, things started coming into better perspective.

Homeschooling was introduced to me accidentally through a video from a lovely site called Rahmah Muslim Homeschool . Intrigued, I started researching on this since providing a wholesome Islamic education was absolutely important for us. After sifting through a whole plethora of information on the net, I was muddled as to what I should be doing. I decided to pick a site, and start off from there. Although I am unable to remember the site, it did have quite an extensive list of homeschooling activities that included teaching sight words. Jumped  right on the sight word train and spent a night cutting and pasting words intended for my then  2+year old little girl to memorise and start reading because a certain list I picked up on another site claimed she should be reading by the time she was 3 years of age.

IMG_20160925_232105
This method may work and she was quick to memorise the words. It took even longer time helping her forget them to help her focus on sounds.

Needless to stay, sticking to a rigid schedule whilst trying to tick off everything in my “list” took its toll on us and I felt it was just too tough because I was not a qualified teacher. After audibly questioning my decision to move into finance instead of education after leaving school, I started looking for online education degrees. Long story short, I came to my senses before paying for a full degree programme that I never would have completed.

Then I began to look into local homeschooling families and to my surprise, there was a whole community in Muscat! I began this journey in trepidation with absolutely no support system but meeting this wonderful group helped by reassuring me that we were doing just fine. One mother in particular fascinated me with her attitude towards learning and living, and she helped me finally figure out how to let go of social expectations and focus on what would be best for my family. You can follow her journey on Raggamuslims.

I have been meaning to chronicle our journey but kept putting it off till I read a well thought out piece in Happiness Is Here and realised how our journey could help another family make their decision to create their own path.

Homeschooling for us is now merely a loose label that we use for sake of ease when having to answer a question about school for our children.

Our learning journey at the moment is about listening to their (now 4+ and 2+ year olds!) interests and learning about them with them. However, I am a firm believer in the power of reading and the vast knowledge accessible to one with the ability to read, which meant that I could not adapt the relaxed method of “letting them learn”. Instead I looked into Jolly Phonics method and took their online course in order to teach reading.  We do not focus on traditional mathematical lessons because it simply does not interest them; they learn that through play. I cannot draw to save my life and so, skipped over teaching them how to draw. Instead, I made sure they have easy access to crayons, colour pencils and paper, and now, I am amazed by their creativity. My 4 year old wants to try out school at one point and we would let her if she is sure that is what she wants but for now, we are enjoying the journey  with a lovely unicorn learning her letter sounds and a curly-hair ball of sunshine with an interest in shapes and a love for gluing things.

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The unicorn is doing a Sound Sheet for letter “f” and her brother is doing a gluing activity with shapes, hastily drawn by yours truly

I have stopped worrying about what education should be and I am focusing on letting them decide their learning experience. Shedding all the preconceived notions of education that I was taught all my life is still a work-in-progress but I am slowly but surely coming out of that state of mind.

Our journey is not about schooling nor is it about not-schooling; it is about learning naturally and developing a lifelong love for learning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Islamic parenting · Islamic society · Islamic values · Living by the Quran · Muscat, Oman · Muslim Mama · Paranoia · Quran · Quran and remedies · Quranic Verse · Reaching for Jannah · Sunnah · Way of LIfe

How to not catch cooties, Islamic style

Little children are sometimes the unkindest creatures to walk the planet. Their blatant lack of regard for propriety means brutal honesty. As quickly as they melt hearts with their smiles, they are capable of completely ostracizing or excluding another child for being different. A common problem in their tiny minds is figuring out how not to catch “cooties” off another tiny human, most often, someone of the opposite gender. They would talk to said individual and even maybe play a game but will screech at the thought of contact because of the “cooties”.

These children grow in body but almost always, never as a person, and roam the grounds as adults, silently afraid of catching “cooties”.

But only now, the dreaded imaginary germ is very real.

Hesitant to visit the sick for too long

Afraid of looking into the eyes of the poor and starving

Ill at ease in the company of those experiencing tragedy and heartbreak

For the cooties now mean more than physical discomfort; ill fortunes of others are feared to be contagious.

As with most, the cure for the worry exists.

When I told my Umamma(maternal grandmother)of a certain situation that I wished I never had to be in, she shared with me a one-liner that she assured me would shield me of all that I feared would be passed on to me: a cough, hair fall or even the fear of being married young. And it has always worked like a charm to quell the bubbles of fear as they begin to form in the pit.

[“Peace!”- a word (of salutation)from a Lord Most Merciful]  

Surah Yasin, verse 58

Mentally reciting this, sometimes with fervor to protect myself of whatever it was that I did not want to catch or experience has worked every single time. I have always experienced a sense of calmness as though the chanting of that line conjured up a safety bubble around me, not unlike the ones they cast over Hogwarts to thwart Lord Voldemort and his creepy followers. My enemy was scarier than any insecure cloaked man with a childish need of power and so, I remained secure in the ease I received at remembering the verse and ensured to recite it for myself and all my loved ones in mind.

I recited it out of fear when I visited an aunt diagnosed with cancer, with horror when I watched a widow cling to her young children in grief, and vehemently, when I heard of a girl having to marry young and “unaccomplished”.

I remained secure in my belief that I was able to ward off all that I least desired with a whisper of this verse. Till this morning.

It was very difficult for me to concentrate on my Fajr prayer today because I kept unconsciously pondering upon this verse and how fortunate I was to have been taught this.

And then I remembered I got married at 19, barely having accomplished anything since high school.

I answered a late night call twice in the space of a week when I was pregnant with my eldest, to be told that a beloved aunt and then a cousin had both been widowed with little children under their care.

The vicious claws of cancer grabbed two more beloved aunts.

This realization hit me with a force so intense that I had to pause before finding the courage to get the English translation out. I knew it was about peace, but did not know the depth of the verse.

The verses preceding this talk about the elation of the deserving after entering Heaven/Jannah and reaping the fruits of their lives, and getting all what was promised to them. Then they would be blessed with the greeting of “Peace” from the Almighty, because that is what they would have for eternity after facing the trials and tribulations of this world.

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How was this verse, as amazing as it is, supposed to help me from catching anything I feared and why had I not realized that my protective measure had not worked in most cases?

The answer lay hidden in the simple word of peace.

Albeit unknowingly, the assurance of peace after the trials and pain had kept me going and given me the strength to see reason and accept every situation I had prayed against.

This brought to mind something I had read about in Reclaim your Heart, by Yasmin Mogahed. She talked about the verse “Verily with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an, 94:5) and about how the ease comes with hardships and not after or before. I would not do this topic justice if I was to squeeze it in here but the gist was to understand that nothing in this life is perfectly good or revoltingly bad; the aspect of perfection was reserved for Jannah/Heaven and Jahannam/Hell.

For all the times I uttered what my wise Umamma taught me, I was unsuspectingly warding off the fear and unease I had about handling the situation, should it fall upon me because that is what had happened. She had given me a lifeline when my paranoia threatened to suffocate me at the thought of any ill fortune or pain on my loved ones.

My beloved Umamma returned to her creator 5 years ago and all the “calamities” I described above happened in the space of 7 years but its proof of Allah’s infinite mercy that this realization hit me years after the pain and confusion. For had I realized then, I fear to think that my Iman/Faith would have been compromised at the thought of my “go-to-remedy” having “failed” me.

I had unconsciously been teaching myself to look at the bigger picture and reach for the reward of having the almighty bestow the salutation of “peace” and this I truly believe is what got me through my fears and change of plans that I assumed in my naivety, would do me no good .

I planned and I planned but Allah planned the best.

 

 

Eid · Equality · Humanity · Islamic parenting · Islamic society · Islamic values · Muslim Mama · Parenting · Ramadan · Rights of the young · Role of Masjids · Sunnah

How our Ummah is being failed by the beautiful Masjids

Picture this scenario.

You are 4 years old and day after day and night after night, you listen to stories of the bounties of Jannah. You yearn for Jannah and learn of all that could take you there. You learn that prayer is on top of the list and make sure to watch people in prayer at every possible opportunity. You practise praying in your very own prayer mat. You can’t even reach the handle of the door but you squeal in delight at the thought of praying in the Masjid only to be told the beautiful Masjid does not want you there. You pray outside by your mother on a worn and dusty carpet, and wonder if you had been “naughty” and that’s why they didn’t let you in.

Or picture this.

You are 5 years old. It’s Eid! You wake up at the crack of dawn and rub your sleepy eyes with your tiny hands. Bathed and dressed in matching Abayas, you go to the Masjid as a family for prayers. But alas, you can’t enter the prayer room at all. So you sit on a straw mat outside the carpeted prayer hall, squashed by similar peers and wonder why they wouldn’t just let you pray inside. 

Now picture this.

So now you are 10 and suddenly you are not shooed away like scum. You reluctantly wrap your shawl on and apprehensively enter the prayer room. It’s the soft carpet you always wanted to touch and feel. You are now bathed in the glow of the twinkling lights you once sneaked a peek at before being told to move away. You pray dutifully but your heart is heavy. Your mind is filled with the rejection of the yesteryears and you feel watched. Your heart throbs in fear and shame at the thought  being told to leave again. Finish your prayer and return home and slowly start giving excuses to not go there again. You worry about your prayer there because you just could not focus with all your thoughts. You stop going to the Masjid altogether because you are tired of feeling like you did something wrong.

At school your friends talk about their Sunday at church and you listen in surprise to how they pray together. You are surprised to learn that children attend their prayers and hear their stories of fond memories through the years. What a nice God they had, you think to yourself, ashamed to say it out aloud.

The rest, I leave to your imagination. 

Your mind and tongue can wag a million reasons on why children should be banned in Masjids but all I ask you to remember is that no problem exists but with a solution already devised for it by Allah swt. 

Noise? Have a separate room for moms and kids instead of pointing them towards mats thrown outside in haste.

You want to maintain the carpets because that trumps inculcating love of prayer in children in priorities? FINE. Hang a sign that forbids any food and drinks in the prayer hall and have the person who is stationed to shoo away the children to monitor the prayer hall and remind people violating that rule. Have a spot to change diapers in the washrooms and strictly forbid it in the prayer hall; the children shooer can monitor that too.

For almost all of the “reasons” children are heartlessly banned from prayer halls, there are solutions. The simplest one is to remember that children are people and feel all the emotions too.

There are a handful of Masjids that still welcome children and we have been blessed to have them around. This rule that blatantly ignores the example of our beloved Prophet (PBUH)’S love for children is generally found in the new and beautiful structures.

What most people fail to realise is that banning children is essentially, banning the mothers too. 

Why would a mother, who can pray in peace in the comfort of her own home knowing her children are by her side, want to hand over her children to a complete stranger along with many other children to pray with a heavy heart and fear(for the children’s safety) in a Masjid?

Naturally, the mother stops going to the Masjid too. Disheartened by the rejection from a place she thought would help her raise her children, she would look elsewhere for the support and open her family to being misguided.

I write this with a heavy heart after I had to once again console my little ones who did not understand why yet again they had to only look inside the beautiful prayer hall from outside when we stopped for prayers after a fun day out. Telling them it is because they were little made me feel as if I was telling them that being little was wrong.

Instead, I looked at my little girl’s face and said, “Love, you need to make duaa everyday for Allah to help you build a Masjid that welcomes children too”.

Nodding her little head, she ran off to focus on something else, like children usually do but brought it up again without fail at bedtime, proving she felt deeper than she let on.

How are we going to shake out of the state where it has become normal to prioritise the maintenance of a creation over developing the faith of the Ummah?

May Allah swt guide us through these scary times!



Disclaimer: I do not intend to pinpoint at any particular place nor do I assume to be more informed than those of higher authority. I am simply a heartbroken mother, wondering how to explain to her children on why they are not allowed into a prayer space to pray to the One who loves them more than I ever could. 

Muslim Mama · Parenting · Uncategorized · Women

8 ways to ask a sancti-mommy to take a hike

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  1. Forgive me for failing to congratulate you on getting your medical license since I was too busy keeping my child underweight and malnourished.
  2. Actually, I plan on renting the room right by the toilets at my children’s future universities to be there to change their diapers but thank you for the book on toilet-training-boot-camp.
  3. I took lessons in wrapping my baby wearing shawl to hold my 16 year old for her school-drop offs since my wearing her as an infant would have clearly spoilt her for the act of walking.
  4. Yes, the only reason I cover when nursing is because I am ashamed of my body and using it for the purpose it was created for. It is also because I am a coward and do not want people to judge me.
  5. No, I do not cover when nursing because I have no morals or respect for the discomfort it causes for other adults in the vicinity.
  6. The only reason I bottle feed is because I was not smart enough to have tried all the options you just stated, not to mention me being lazy to nurse.
  7. I know I run the risk of raising a narcissistic attention seeking monster by running to my child at every cry but I just cannot curb the urges of my selfish maternal instincts.
  8. One day, I will be filled with regret at causing strife in my child’s marriage because of his/her need to have me next door to rock and sing him/her to sleep since I did not pay heed to your instructions of letting him/her cry it out as an infant.

*This is intended as light reading and not to be tested out in actual situations; I shall not be liable for any damaged property, noses or relationships.

** I appreciate and highly value advice from all those with a genuine concern and goodwill towards my family; please do not worry yourself into thinking that your help annoyed me in anyway.

***This is based on commonly fought-over mommy-issues and do not indicate any personal experience.